Dear Frank,

Here’s an idea:

We’re giving away our power by giving away our time.

We’re giving away our power by not giving ourselves the time we need to ourselves.

We’re giving away our power by not respecting and loving ourselves.

Boundaries; what a magic word. Setting boundaries is an exciting exercise: we’re setting boundaries for the outside world or, better said, for the world outside of us; and we should set boundaries for the world within too. I mean, how many times have you set about your day meaning to do one thing, only to have it hijacked? Of course, it’s not like that, is it now?! More often than not, we allow others to do that, for various reasons: we shy of from saying no; we feel bad if we refuse people; we feel guilty because saying no would mean we’re bad people; we feel constricted to engage and respond, then and there. What or whom are you saying no to by saying yes to *time thieves*?

Once we realise, or, better said, acknowledge that it doesn’t have to be this way, and saying no is more than encouraging, a shift happens. Because by saying no to hijacks, we say yes to ourselves. And doing this over and over again helps us become aware of the power within.

If you can defeat the ‘no’ monster, what else is there waiting for you to do?

Giving ourselves time to be, contemplate, and sit with our feelings is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. I know, I know, it can be difficult and uncomfortable.

I am one of those that needs to speak through things to sort them out. Have a problem? Oh, let’s untangle every narrative that ever existed and those which didn’t, too and make a list and weigh everything and then repeat perhaps a couple of times, and you get the gist. It’s only recently, in the past few years, that I realised that it’s just better to let go of some things. Of course, I still make lists and reflect and oh, hindsight! (is a motherfucker!), but I also let them go. I’ve stopped dwelling on past and present situations that are not worth my time, especially if we’re talking about things out of my control. The past is helpful if we can learn and grow from it; it’s not practical if we live there.

If the past is hijacking your present, then uh-oh, you’re in trouble. As with doubt, your past is an ally, not a foe. Don’t have power taken away from you by your past. Use your past to empower yourself to move forward — how you do this is entirely up to you, and you control this!

What do you say, Frank?